The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
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I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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