just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize