you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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