I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize