I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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