You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Randomize