Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
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Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
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I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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