I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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