You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
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Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
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Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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