Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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