you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize