He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
i think my cat just said my name.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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