if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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