my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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