nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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