Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize