Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize