I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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