Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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