five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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