You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
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I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
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And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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