i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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