do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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