You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
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He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
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at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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