I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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