Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize