he told me I talked like a deaf person
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize