u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Life is so much better after having sex.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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