Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
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had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
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