I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize