I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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