The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize