; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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