the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
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He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
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I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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