tonight lets celebrate not being married
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize