What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis needs a shock collar
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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