if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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