y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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