In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Randomize