Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
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he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
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Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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