i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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