I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
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