I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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