hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Alive.
So much puke
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
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