Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
It was a blind-side dick pic.
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