I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Randomize