I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
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