So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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