Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
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I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
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Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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