It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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